corvi (corivax) wrote,

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(Day 3)
Biology we have learned from pictographic "animal crossing" road signs:

  • All caribou have malevolent red eyes without iris or pupil. The ones we saw must have just had their virgin sacrifice or eaten the tasty chocolate-covered soul of the pope or something. They seemed pretty mellow and did not sprout tentacles and menace us.
  • Hitting a mountain sheep with your car will make the front grille explode in a comic-book-style starburst. And knock over the sheep.
  • Deer are always leaping over something. When they don't have anything else to leap over, deer leap over the extra six dimensions postulated by string theory. Their two front feet never actually touch the ground. Perhaps they have antimatter hooves.
  • "A fed bear is a dead bear." Apparently there is some sort of bear mafia, and the ones that turn federal witnesses meet, er, accidents.
  • Moose are black from head to toe. Despite the fact that there is a sign warning of moose crossing every fifty feet or so along the alcan, we haven't seen any yet. This leads to one obvious conclusion: moose are ninjas, masters of invisibility! Nobody told me Canada was so cool. I wonder if they're locked in a titanic power struggle with the bear mafia?

Critters actually seen: stone sheep, caribou, deer. We haven't seen any of the archetypical eternal mafia vs. ninja combatants.

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