corvi (corivax) wrote,
corvi
corivax

Civilization

We've started creating a metric for how civilized a place is. Various things add or substract points. Here's the list. We've seen everything on it except the Thai restaurant so far.

Civilization:

  • Martial Arts Dojo +3 points
  • Sushi Place +3 points, only worth 2 points if it's inside an old Pizza Hut building, with all the red triangular decor and wierd curtains intact.
  • Cellphone coverage +1 points
  • Thai food: +4 points
  • Waitstaff with non-ear piercing +1
  • Mural of cherry blossom festival +1
  • Vegetarian fake-meat in supermarket: +4
  • Bicyclist +1
  • Airport +1, -1 if there's a row of trailers next to it, -2 if it's unpaved
  • Touchy-feely meditation seminars: +1
  • Community College +1
  • University : +2
  • Lovely ukrainian catholic church: +2
  • Sikh Temple +2
  • "Wireless High Speed Internet All Rooms" signs at hotels: +3
  • Health food store: +2
  • Greek food: +1


Not Civilized:

  • Gun show -3
  • Trailer Park -3
  • Rustym abandoned truck trailied dragged to the side of the road and painted as a billboard -3
  • Rusty abandoned car with broken axle on side of road -1
  • Junk Yard -1, -3 if it calls itself an "antique machines display" and charges admission
  • Restaurants named after furniture -2
  • Store named "the store" - 2
  • Public building with obviously Christian decor (crucifix in lobby) : -2
  • Fenceposts "decorated" with boots or buckets: -3 per group
  • Bar to completely close off highway in winter : -2
  • Cattle guard on bridges: -1
  • Unincorporated town -1 , -3 if it's an unincorporated town named "Progress". (not making this up)
  • Livestock; Cows and sheep -1, Bison -2
  • Scary rusty propane tank, cracked bu apparently in use -1
  • Anti-abortion billboard with scary cartoon fetus whose head is shaped like a butternut squash: -1, -3 for more than one identical billboard in a row
  • Restaurant claiming to serve genuine American food: -.5
  • Homebuilt bridge that appears to be braced with car parts: -2
  • "Country Western Dance Hall" with sheep grazing in it: -2
  • Rusty piece of sheet metal painted to look like a moose: -1
  • Stacks of metal drums labeled "gasoline" in red spray paint: -2
  • Chainsaw carving: -2
  • Calling yourself "Chainsaw carving capital of the world": -4
  • Painfully tacky cemetary full of shiny pick marble headstones: -2
  • Selling two distinct, bizarre things out of the same store, like furniture and livestyock feed, or auto glass and pellet stoves: -4
  • ATVs: -2, -3 if all the riders are wearing hip waders
  • Visibly crooked house, -1
  • Using tarp or corrugated metal as a building/siding material: -1
  • Road sign on stick in bucket with rocks: -3, also for road sign held in place by wood and cinder blocks
  • Anything named after someone named "Tubby": -1


And here are some random cool things we've seen that we couldn't really figure out if they indicated civilization or not:

  • Llamas
  • Moose crossing signs
  • Cool self-bracing drilling equipment
  • Moose MacGillicuddy's Bar
  • Butte
  • Curling Club
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