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October 2008
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corvi [userpic]
Summary of ARES radiation training and drill

Introduction [corvi's journal].

  • Yes, they did take my picture today. On the plus side, though, if I actually look like that picture, hair disheveled from bike helmet, dark circles under my eyes, sallow and tired -- you'll know it's a real emergency. :)

  • We did a drill of a radiation incident. There was supposed to be a "dirty" bomb than injured maybe a hundred people, but the guy who was calling the damages and sending busses to hospitals got kinda carried away. "And another 218 reds for Central! And another 184 yellows for Children's! And can we get a thousand respirators at each hospital? And two thousand doses of penicillin! Oh, and the federal government has dispatched military helicopters! And another 136 yellows for Evergreen!" (Don't ask me how you can fit 218 people in an ambulance. xmurf, who did an excellent job running net control - making sure only one person spoke at a time and everyone got the messages directed to them- quipped, "Stretch ambulance!" I wondered if it had a jacuzzi...) I kept expecting him to start reading from War of the Worlds, or maybe, "Captain! I can't hold her together much longer!"
    The fact that, in order to avoid causing an utter panic, everyone tried to say once a transmission, "This is a drill. This is only a drill," just added an extra element of surreality.

  • Saving the world is mostly about physics, anyway. I wasn't surprised. A Curie by any other name will still melt your skin, but scientists appear to have had far too much fun naming radiation units. Here are some of the units of radiation we discussed: Curie, Becquerel, Gray, Rad, Rem, Roentgen, Sievert, Coloumbs per Kilogram, and MMBE (monomolecular blue elephants.) (Okay, I made that last one up.)

  • My favorite line from the drill, "Assume anyone showing up clothed is hot. Those showing up without clothes are not hot."
    ("Hot" in this case means 'radioactive' --- part of standard decontamination involves getting rid of one's clothes, which would tend to get rid of a lot of the fallout. But it was still really funny.)

  • And, most important of all (I actually wrote this in my notes):

    Don't lick the Thorium!

Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: Prototype - Trinity

Uh... thanks, I think! HOpe I don't rant toomuch about wierd, inconsequential things.

Of course, we all know that the monomolecular blue elephants are really monomolecular wooly mammoths (an endangered species) which you have shaved and painted blue. As such, you are in flagrant violation of Article 53 Section 26A of the Endangered Species Act, which prohibits actions which directly impact the ability of an endangered monomolecular species from functioning in its proper ecological niche. You are hereby formally charged with removing insulative fur coats of, and application of non-camoflauging coloration to, a population of monomolecular wooly mammoths. Our agents will be there shortly. Do not resist.

You, my dear, are the d0rX0r to 3nd 4ll d0rX0rz.

And as for the agents, I have a trebuchet and some water balloons filled with pudding, and I'm not afraid to use them! (The pudding was stolen from eeyorerin)

So that's where my pudding got to! Ah ha!

I am afraid, my dear corvid, that the title of "d0rX0r to 3nd 4ll d0rX0rz" more properly belongs to gfish. Please update your records.